I feel many people nowadays take way too many things for granted and complain about almost everything and do not appreciate what they have. I am going to share a story that changed my life forever and that will probably make you think differently about how you face it.
I was born in the US and at the age of 7 my family moved to Colombia, I can now say we probably lived like millionaires compared to worldwide standards. We had a maid, a car, my brother and I attended private school, we lived in a huge house, more than enough food, always had a bunch of clothes and basically all the toys we wanted amongst a bunch of other things.
At the age of 17 I decided to go back to the US for college. At the time I loved the idea that I could work and go to school and start becoming more independent. I was extremely sad to leave my mom, brother and all my friends behind, little did I know that my entire life was going to take a drastic swing. My dad had not been able to move completely to Colombia and was always traveling back and forth. A large reason why I decided to move back to the US was because he was not in the best health and I worried what would happen to my mom, brother and I if something happened to him, because he was the one mostly providing us with this great life in Colombia.
I landed in New York in January 2005 with 2 suitcases without many expectations after crying the entire flight there. I was devastated and didn’t know when I would be back or see anyone again, it took me 2 and a half years to go back and see my mother and brother again. My dad was living in a shared apartment and my new room was the living room! First big blow there, no more private room for me and all conveniences I was used to were out the window. I won’t lie, it was tough as hell to see how literally one day I had everything and the next, a bunch of it was no longer there. It was also the first time I realized how much my dad had been sacrificing so many years to give us a stupendous life in Colombia.
I remember feeling a bit recentul with life and lost, I was grumpy and behaving like a spoiled kid. A few weeks after arriving at my dad and I moved to another apartment, definitely more spacious but still a one bedroom apartment where my room was basically a part of the living room we converted. I enrolled in school and was ready to start working since I had 6 months off before starting. I was extremely lucky to have my dad helping me out to find a job, he reached out to friends and landed me 2 jobs very quickly. I was a 17 year old kid that did not know how to do S***! Thankfully in highschool I was able to build up some character and at least I had the will to do things I guess. Walking into a place and asking for a job is really hard at that age, your confidence drops in a second and you basically realize you have almost no skills for the labor market or at least that’s what I thought of myself back then.
I started working full time at a shoe store at 8 dollars an hour helping stock shoes with people at least 30 years older than me. Since I was fresh off the boat I had no friends or social life. I remember buying a pair of soccer shoes and a ball with my first paycheck and going to the park to hopefully find someone to play with, that never happened. The only social life I had was going online to chat with my friends in Colombia and remembering all the good times, I felt ashamed of my new found situation and tried to hide behind good old memories. I think this lasted around 3 very long months until I started my second job at a restaurant as a busboy.
I am sure I was being a selfish, self absorbed brat with my dad during most of that time, it’s ironic that we often hurt people that love and care for us. Took me years to realize how much effort my dad had put into helping me out and having my back. It would have definitely taken me a lot more effort, pain, sweat and time to overcome the newfound difficulties. At the restaurant even though the pay was terrible it made me happy, I started to meet people my age and start a new social life. It was a very new experience for me, I worked with people from Mexico, Uruguay, Colombia, Argentina and the US. I had never experienced all that diversity, I learned a bunch from different people and started feeling like a young person again. With two jobs I was working 7 days a week and didn’t really have much time for leisure activities, I wanted to work as hard as possible so I could enjoy school once it started.
Here comes the moment that changed me forever, please keep in mind that during those months I still kept complaining a lot and being extremely ungrateful.
One of the Mexican waiters brought his brother to work with him at the restaurant, Miguel, he was my age. We got along pretty well and he seemed like a cool kid. One day I think I was complaining about stuff and asked him when he was going back to Mexico, he said he didn’t know and I asked how come. He said he had crossed the border illegally and thus could not move in and out of the US freely. This was the first time I had met someone in that situation, I was shocked and asked him if he could explain how he crossed. Without hesitation he responded, well the second time we made it through the desert without getting caught and then arrived at a city and took a flight to New York. I remember feeling this deep shock inside once the moment he mentioned he crossed the border twice. In a single instant I analyzed everything I had been complaining about and after beating myself up with remorse I decided I had no right to complain about anything. He had to cross it twice because he was caught the first time and deported.
Here we were, two 17 year old kids having a life changing moment. I never got the chance to thank him for changing my life and inspiring me to become a better person, at that age it’s not easy to express your feelings. I had been complaining because I no longer had a maid, had to work long hours, take buses and trains and a whole list of foolishness. This kid had left behind his family, friends, country, couldn’t speak english, was undocumented and had no idea when he would be able to go back or see his loved ones or what would be of his future. I remember telling myself I was an ungrateful prick for not appreciating everything I had, I had all the tools I needed at hand and was still whining about nonsense. I noticed that If I wanted something I was able to do it and whatever struggles came along the way, they were nothing compared to what other people have to go through.
Everytime I feel I want to complain or give up in a tough situation I tell myself I have no right, yes absolutely no F**** right to be defeated or not appreciate all the blessings I’ve been given. I constantly remind myself that if Miguel crossed the desert twice leaving everything behind there is no reason why I can’t work hard and put in the effort to be where I want to be.
We all go through tough moments and frequently complain about numerous things. I’m sure there is a Miguel around you and you owe it to yourself and people less fortunate to give the best you can, never give up and take advantage of all your capabilities. We are all a lot stronger than we imagine and are capable of achieving remarkable things once we stop complaining, start being grateful for who we are and knowing that no matter how bad you think you have it, there are millions that have it way worse and would kill to be in your shoes.
